Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
