I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
