Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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