need another drink. this is the easiest way
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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