erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
