A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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