Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The air was thick with penises
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
