i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
