I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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