I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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