I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
