omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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