I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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