hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
