I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize