you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize