My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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