You really coming over, don't trick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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