Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
