Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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