That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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