when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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