I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
