we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Blood and glitter go together right?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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