please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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