sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
