No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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