Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Congratulations! We have a period
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
