No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
