He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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