The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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