But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
