butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
