I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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