There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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