She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
