idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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