I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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