Don't you send me to vm
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
