You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
