Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
