After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
