what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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