I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
