3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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