I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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