it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
