hotel room ftw
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
