I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
