didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
