Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
