they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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