Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
