Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
