She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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