Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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