Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
