Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
