Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
