wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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