the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
