i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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