oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
