im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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