Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
