Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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