this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
