I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
