just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
