what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
