It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
