I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
