Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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