great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
