OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize