I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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