Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
